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You Know You're from Saskatchewan when...   You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup. You rent off season storage space for your snowmobile on a week by week basis. You've required a total of 40 stitches over the years from lacerations suffered doing the butterfly at weddings. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. The mosquitoes have landing lights. You leave your snow tires on year-round. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat. Your idea of gun control is making sure the sights are firmly aligned on the gopher before squeezing,not pulling,the trigger. Every birthday you receive exactly what you you want...a new curling broom. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page,  but requires 6 pages for sports. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant. You walk knee-deep in snow, glad that it quit snowing before it caused problems. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof. You think the start of moose season is a national holiday. You head south to go to your cottage. You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo - it's sausage making. You find -40C a little chilly. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels. You can play road hockey on ice skates. You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus. You pronounce "Saskatchewan" in one and a half syllables You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Northern friends.   You grew up in the rural Midwest if.......   You know how to polka, but never tried it sober... You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means. You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and wedding dance. You know the difference between "Green" and "Red" farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better! You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm. You spent more on beer and liquor than you did on food at your wedding. You hear someone use the word "oof-dah" and you don't break into uncontrollable laughter. You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at the county fair. You know that "combine" is a noun. You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter. You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions. You know that "creek" rhymes with "pick". Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set. A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer. Saturday you go to your local bowling alley. There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning... phew! You have driven your car on the lake. You can make sense of "upnort" and "batree." Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance. Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar. The local gas station sells live bait. At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant. You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday. Pop is the only name for soda. Borrowed from @gOnline's Agri Laugh

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